I’ve just posted a new article on commitment ambivalence, where one partner is ready to take their relationship to a new level and the other one balks. This happens for many reasons, which I cover in my article, along with myths about love and romance and the meeting of a “soul-mate.” Here’s a link to the article, To Commit or Not to Commit


Many couples find that their lovemaking wanes over time. Maybe they don’t make love as often. Or their love life settles into a routine. I’ve just posted a new article with the tips I offer couples to help them rekindle their romance. The article can be found here: http://drgaryseeman.com/resources/rekindling.php

by Gary Seeman, Ph.D.

“There is nothing perfect in this world.” Swami Chandrasekharanand Saraswati

Perfectionism is seeking refuge with a person or thing, while fantasizing they are all good. This leads to avoiding other situations and people as too scary, dysfunctional, mean or dangerous, then giving up.

If a person or thing is sometimes imperfect, they go into the untrustworthy bin. To an extent this is okay. But for someone who’s anxious or very easily scared, the bin becomes a landfill, and the cabinet holding the wonderful, perfect or admired shrinks until it’s the size of a shoebox.

“Perfect” is a concept. It isn’t real. It’s a thought paired with feelings.

You can replace perfectionism with mindful awareness of what you can do to make imperfect things and people more manageable by communicating, interacting, problem solving and persisting instead of recoiling and giving up.

by Gary Seeman, Ph.D.

Welcome to my new blog, which will feature anecdotes, tips, humor and sometimes full-length articles about mindfulness, personal growth and psychotherapy. I welcome your comments and feedback. Although this blog goes by the same title as a previous one with a few posts also named Seeing is Understanding, WordPress.com is where this blog now resides.